I'm still in Dubai and have finally done a desert safari.
It was okay.
It was too touristy and not what I am looking for so gonna be heading to Oman soon to see if the desert out there can nurture my spirit.
But I did get to see some really awesome dervish dancing
A few weeks ago I started doing inner child meditations.
The Creating Money Magic eCourse meditations have shown me that my emotional reactions are habitual.
I've conditioned myself to react and feel in a particular way from childhood; most of the events in my adulthood trigger these emotions, which means I’m reacting from a space of pain.
These beliefs and emotions from my childhood are now creating life events in this moment.
the way we process emotions as children impacts the way we respond to events as adults
The more I do the inner child meditation, the angrier and more ashamed I feel.
I used to think this shame and anger came from my teens or even early twenties.
I finally realize, I felt these emotions as a child but I was never allowed to show them and felt the pressure to pretend to be happy (most adults still feel pressured to be happy).
As an adult, I've learned to process complex and painful emotions but as I do the meditations I realize my inner child, that part of my subconscious, hasn’t learned this technique and is still hurting.
The subconscious isn't rational and the child part of me doesn’t have the reasoning capability to process these emotions, but she needs to pass them through her system, and the only way to do that is to feel them and accept them.
the only way to heal is to feel and forgive
In Buddhism they say that doing this healing work heals not just you but your family or bloodline 7 generations back and 7 generations forward.
This work helps us heal ancestral family karma.
I’ve been stuck in ancestral planes when doing spiritual work (definitely goes under the scariest moments of my life).
I've had conversations with some ancestors and felt some of their pain and scars, which upset me because I've always felt like we do this work so the next generation has a lighter load and my ancestors didn't do it.
I don't believe in rituals for ancestors or any spiritual beings since I know how to connect to them and they know my beef.
I talk to them in waking life and when they come in my dreams, which is often.
Conversing with my inner child makes me sad and give me an understanding of how much pain one must be in to inflict pain on their own children.
I’ve had to talk to my inner child about this, I told her what I know about my grandfather and the time when I met his father in a vision (this happened when I did the Lesson 1 meditation on memories in the Creating Money Magic course) and how this great grandfather scared me.
But meeting him in the vision helped me understand my grandfather and the source of my shame and anger that my mom and all her siblings feel. It helped me understand that not every emotion I feel is necessarily mine or from my past lives.
I've conversations with my inner child about the violence that lurks in my mother's bloodline, the brilliance and the depression that is part of our DNA.
I now understand that we're the sum total of our experiences and our ancestors experiences.
In South Korea, they have a 7 - 10 day holiday (Chuseok) it's thanksgiving but it’s a holiday to honor the ancestors, go to their graves and talk to them.
And yet in South Africa as African people we've been taught to reject our ancestors and fear them, so basically, we've been taught to fear ourselves.
How do we heal the entire self as a people if we don’t acknowledge our past, where we come from or our ancestral lineage?
Let me know your thoughts in the comments section below.