How To Release The Fear, Shame & Drama Of Asking For Money Or A Raise

How To Release The Fear, Shame & Drama Of Asking For Money Or A Raise

Vangile Makwakwa
Changing Our Feelings About Money

How do you feel about asking for money in any situation?

- Asking clients to pay you?

- Asking for a raise?

- Asking friends to pay you what they owe you?

What goes through your head when you have to ask for money, even if it’s money owed to you?

Asking for money or increasing my prices and letting people know about the price increase was very stressful for me.

I used to believe that asking for money made me look like a beggar and made people pity me; I used to think people would look at me and think, “oh shame, she’s broke, that’s why she is asking for her money.”

And because I didn’t want the pity (even when I was broke), I’d wait, pray and hope that people would remember to pay me my money or tip me for work done.

How To Process And Release Financial Fear

How To Process And Release Financial Fear

Vangile Makwakwa
Changing Our Feelings About Money

A lot of times when I was struggling financially, I'd give up my personal power in the present moment because I was so busy running away from my feelings about money in the present moment and denying my fear.

I was obsessed with being in a “high vibe” state and being constantly grateful that I denied my present state of being.

I bought into the belief that if I wanted to change my finances, I had to constantly monitor my thoughts and think of positive things, I couldn’t think or debt, as soon as I thought about my debt, I had to quickly change my thoughts and focus on income and making more money.

The crazy thing was that the thought of having money and making more money, freaked me out because of my deep money trauma.

When I did get tired of constantly having to be positive and having to visualize great success, I’d give myself permission to focus on my debt so I could develop a debt repayment plan.

But focusing on my debt would get me thinking about all the bad things that could happen in the future and would leave me frozen with fear.

I'd think – A month from now, I'm not going to be able to eat or pay rent because I don't have enough time to make this much money.

How Financial Trauma Affects Our Finances

How Financial Trauma Affects Our Finances

Vangile Makwakwa
Changing Our Feelings About Money

At least 80% of my financial life and my relationship with money has been influenced by events in my teen years.

When I was 13, my mom’s fancy car (she had 2 cars) got repossessed because she had an outstanding bill of R2000/ US$150 that she couldn’t pay.

She was only left with 1 installment and she couldn’t pay it.

This was the first time I realized that my mother was running out of money.

It was also the first time I became aware that money could run out and that felt strange to me.

My mom had spent most of her life making sure that we never wanted for anything, so up until this point, I didn’t know that a person could run out of money.

The trauma of watching my mom lose her car has stayed with me and has influenced the way I buy cars.

I’ve owned several cars in several different countries and have always bought all my cars cash.

I paid cash for all my cars, even when I was drowning in debt.

It’s never crossed my mind to buy a car any other way, in fact, the thought of having a car installment sends me into a state of panic.

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