How does not knowing how to say no affect your finances?
Why do we say “yes” when we secretly mean “no”?
Why can we not say no to long hours of work and pressing social engagements even when we know that they are causing tension within various spheres of our lives?
The inability to say No can affect our finances
I have a problem turning down causes, crusades or anything that smacks of innovation or startup.
Whenever I get an offer to do something new or slightly interesting I jump on that bandwagon and even make deals with crazymakers (people whose only job is to make you crazy).
My refusal to say no often leaves me feeling very overwhelmed with my schedule, which leaves me stuck, with no clue where to start.
This makes me unproductive and affects the amount of work I get done in a day and the amount of money I make.
It’s easier to let intolerable situations and unbearable people (aka crazy makers) rule our lives and our finances. All this because we’re afraid to say, “No I don’t want that” or “No, I don’t want you”.
Humans are wired towards tribalism because going against the tribe in our cavemen days often meant death.
Being thrown out of the tribe meant lack of shelter, lack food and lack of protection from other tribes, which equalled death.
What we often forget though, is that the ability to say no is linked to our ability to choose, without the option to say no, the concept of choice disappears.
When you focus on pleasing others you ALWAYS lose
When we say no to one thing, we state to ourselves and the world around us what we don’t want in our lives and by default we also state what we do want.
Saying no could no to the things that no longer serve you brings more opportunities and creates space for the right things to come into your life.
Saying no also makes you more discerning of the things you say yes to, which is how you start to make wise financial decisions.
When we become clear on what we want in our lives, it becomes easier for our minds to focus and notice little things, in our environment, that’ll help us make that vision a reality.
How to Say NO
Evaluate yourself understand what you’re fine with doing and what you absolutely won’t do.
This way when people ask you to do something, you can always stand by your refusal and in time they will know where you stand on certain issues.
2. Understand the difference between refusing a request and rejecting someone
Sometimes we’re scared to say no because we think that saying no to someone’s request, actually means rejecting that person.
That’s a false belief – saying no to a request isn’t saying no to the person and it’s important to be very clear with the other person about this. My coach tells me that NO stands for New Opportunities.
If you feel like saying no to a request is saying no to the person, and then you need to examine your feelings or fear of rejection. When people reject a request from us, they are rejecting the request, not us.
3. Be open and honest
Don’t make up stories about why you have to say no. Be honest and to the point about why you are saying no and don’t feel guilty about it.
4. Be non-apologetic about saying no
When your refusal is wishy washy people can tell and it becomes easy to sway you and for others to make you feel guilty. When you’re firm in your no, people respect it and move on.
Knowing what we want also makes it easier for us to take action, because we know exactly what we’re working towards.
Stating what we no longer want for our lives honours us as people and helps us understand what we want.
How would your finances change if you decided to say no to the things that don’t add value to your lives?
Let me know in the comments section.