How our relationship with our parents impacts the way we manage money

How our relationship with our parents impacts the way we manage money

 

Most of us aren’t aware of how deeply our childhood and the relationship we have with our parents and/or siblings impacts the way we manage money.

The roles we take on as kids impact our sense of power and the power dynamics in parental relationships.

Because my greatest challenge has been the relationship with my mom, my focus has been on healing the mother wound, but the same applies with fathers.

As kids we learn very quickly what makes our mothers happy and for most of us we learn that it's being the good child, the obedient child.

Case Study on Using Emotional Intelligence for Financial Success

Case Study on Using Emotional Intelligence for Financial Success

The Creating Money Magic eCourse is finally open for registration.

If you’re sitting on the fence about signing up for the eCourse, I decided to ask one of the Creating Money Magic Students a few questions.

So without I’ll let, Casey Blake, Founder of Tools for Having the Talks (definitely check out her work) share her story.

How Our Financial Expectations Influence Our Financial Outcomes

Financial expectations influence our financial outcomes

The good news is that the eCourse opens for registration in 10 days on May 25th and I’ll be sharing a lot around that in the next few days.

The other good news is that my spirit of money and I are talking again and we’re having really deep conversations in the Lesson 0 meditations in the #MoneyMagic eCourse.

A few weeks ago I shared how money asked me to go from lover to husband and how that led to a total meltdown and a break in our conversation.

I also shared how this felt like I was in the middle of a relationship with an actual lover and how this was my normal reaction to any conversation about commitment. 

This time I decided to woman up and actually face my commitment fears.

So I went back to the meditations and had a conversation with money about all this. 

And money pointed out, that all he’d asked was to move into husband status and I’d created a whole story about what that meant. 

Apparently money assumed husband status meant a deeper commitment and trust from my side but I decided that meant something else which led to a conversation on expectations.

My spirit of money explained that I live a life filled with expectations and these expectations influence my behaviour in different parts of my life. 
 

I have these concrete stories and ideas of what a deeper commitment looks like and how it changes people.

In my world, commitment is a dirty little word.

To me a deeper commitment or marriage means staying put, coming home at a set time and being in one place forever.

It means slowing down the pace at which I explore life, so I can do it with the other person.

It means having a curfew to come home and being this woman who suddenly cooks dinner every night because that's what is expected of me.

Because: "Adulting 101."

So when money asked me for a deeper commitment, these are the images I see - this version of me adulting and I freaked out.

To be fair, I wasn’t sure what a marriage and committing to money meant, but a part of me did feel it would be boring and stifling. 

A love affair and romance with money sounds so much more exciting and liberating.

At the back of my mind was this question: how do I merge this woman who can go whole months without ever cleaning or cooking a thing, living on smoothies and veg juices and salads and then spending 3 months doing nothing but cooking elaborate 3 course meals, with this adulting version?

But then money pointed out something - I was speaking as though deeper commitment was a prison and that somehow the notion of committing would change me into a version of me I didn't recognise. 

Where was I in all this? 

Where was my power in all this?

So money asked me to define what a marriage looks like for me and who I am within that, instead of this powerless victim, because as long as I see myself as powerless in this context,

I’d have a hard time opening to the possibilities. 

And some possibilities require commitment to things (relationships, jobs, money, gym). 

Of course this goes beyond money, but for now I would love to leave you with the same questions money left me with - what does deeper commitment to money look like to you? 

What are your fears and dark expectations on really connecting and having a greater relationship with money?

Who would you be if you let go of these expectations and stories of what a deeper commitment to money looks like? 

What becomes possible for you financially when you release these expectation and stories?
 

How to Get Over the Fear of Asking for a Raise or Invoicing Clients

How to Get Over the Fear of Asking for a Raise or Invoicing Clients

A few weeks ago I had to ask for money owed to me from my former school in South Korea.

I literally just went back and forth with them and reminded them that we had reached an agreement 3 weeks ago on the payment amount and date and that date has passed. 

A few minutes later the money was transferred to my account and I was like: Thank you.

But then it hit me - there was a time when I would have waited and waited before asking people to pay me money they owe me. I would have created a long story and twisted myself in knots at the very idea of asking for money.

My message a few weeks ago was literally 2 sentences long and to the point.
I’m actually shocked by how much I’ve changed when it comes to asking for money that's owed to me or invoicing.