Abrahm Lincoln once said, “Do I not destroy my enemies when I make them my friends?”
I love this quote because it implies that there’s no such thing as an enemy and every enemy is a potential friend.
This is true even of money. You can destroy money as an enemy by turning money into a friend.
When we hate money, we give money power over us. All that energy spent hating money and blocking money and in turn blocking ourselves from going after our dreams because we could make money or need money, is so exhausting.
Not only is it exhausting but it gives money power over us and makes money a villain we have to spend time blocking or fighting against.
Wouldn’t it be better to take that energy and just use it to expand into the people we really want to be?
I spent more time and energy worrying about money and being anxious about money when I hated money.
Now that I’m friends with money, I realize just how much energy that hatred took and how much of my power I gave up to money.
In last week’s blog post I spoke about how we turn money into an enemy when we blame money for the pain it caused the people we love.
In this week’s blog post I want to talk about the second reason we turn money into the enemy.
We turn money into the enemy when we realize that having money has negative consequences and can cause us pain.
Money is scary to many people. People have many limiting beliefs about money, people who have money or who have an open money flow.
And because of these beliefs, having money can give rise to jealousy from the people close to us and cost us our relationships.
This is something I realized when I was doing one of the Creating Money Magic Meditations and a vivid memory of my maternal grandmother’s funeral appeared.
This was a memory that I’d buried in my body; in it I could hear my cousins shouting and asking why my sister and I got to go to private schools when my grandmother spent her last days in a public hospital.
Instead of everyone mourning and remembering my grandma, my family was fighting about how money was spent and how a private hospital would have been better.
Nobody pointed out that our schooling was being paid for by my dad and that these were his ex-in-laws and he had no financial obligation towards them.
In my meditation I saw how in that moment I made a decision about money – I decided that having money and having access to things makes people hate you.
In that moment I decided that it was wrong to have something that someone else doesn’t have.
I remember thinking – I don’t want something if other people can’t have it and they hate me for having it.
This was a big thing for me because my cousins often accused me of not thinking like them and not seeing the world the way they do, which made me feel like an outsider.
These accusations left me feeling like an outsider with a deep desire to fit in and be part of the tribe.
I desperately wanted to blend in with the family but unfortunately for me, most of the people on that side of my family aren’t very good with money.
So unconsciously blended in by blocking money and without realizing it I turned money into the enemy.
Added to that was the fact that my one cousin would often beat me (no one knew this was even happening) because he felt I was trying to make myself better than everyone else.
The message that I got during these incidents was that it was wrong to aspire to be better or want more. I started to believe that it wasn’t safe to be visible or different from others.
And because I believed this I kept attracting friends who confirmed this belief by penalizing me when I started to expand.
This is something I battled with for years and it held me back financially and as an entrepreneur because as soon as I tasted success, I’d lose friends and I’d withdraw into my shell and start panicking because success didn’t feel physically or emotionally safe.
Sometimes we hold ourselves back financially to make the people around us feel comfortable so we don’t lose their friendship and support.
In this case money becomes the enemy because having money can cause the people around us to treat us differently.
And worse – it can change us. We suddenly develop new interests, most of which cost money to sustain, which can make some of the people close to us feel abandoned and lost with this new version of us.
I’ve seen how this has played out in life, which is why I’ve become an advocate for finding our tribe so we can give ourselves permission to thrive and know that it’s okay to play big and ask the universe for more.
Humans are by nature tribal creatures and a huge part of us wants to feel like we belong, so when we form our own tribe, can get that sense of belonging.
What decisions have you made about money and how are you turning money into the enemy?
I explain all this in the video below:
Let me know your thoughts in the comments section below.