How the Vow of Service Impacts our Personal Finances
Whenever my clients tell me they find themselves working super hard for very little money, I start by exploring their vows of service.
If you haven’t heard about these vows, no worries, I was also taught about them in a past life regression session by my guides and then given clear instructions on how to help people heal these vows.
A vow of service is a vow we made in this life or a past life to work hard for little to no money; often healers, teachers, nurses, doctors and social workers have this vow, which explains why they feel very guilty whenever they make money for doing what they love.
Our vows of service also help develop primary or secondary Savior or Good Samaritan archetypes especially if we grew up in abusive homes
How do these play out?
As kids most of us feel powerless as we watch our parent(s) go through abuse and we grow up being adults who want to make up for that abuse because we saw them sacrifice everything for us.
So we end up giving and giving to the abused parent(s) and when we try to set boundaries, we feel guilty because they endured so much on our behalf.
So we end up as adults who live their lives to please their parents or save their parents and then end up feeling resentment, anger, frustration and overwhelm towards those same parents and feel way more guilt for feeling all that we feel.
And guilt is one of the key emotions that makes us get rid of money super fast.
And maybe we also saw how when the abused parent tried to set boundaries, the abuse escalated, so we learnt that its not safe to set boundaries, so our nervous systems are hardwired to keep us safe by having no boundaries and constantly people-pleasing (fawning).
In fact setting boundaries can feel very unsafe and can cause our nervous systems to go into overdrive whenever we try to set a boundary.
You can only imagine the financial impacts of this on our bank accounts - how do we invest and create wealth when we are constantly giving away every little bit of money we have in order to keep ourselves or our parents safe?
Now add patriarchy and how this system oppresses women and teaches us to play small, value marriage more than we value ourselves and be the nice girls who are terrified of being called b***hes when we set boundaries…
Patriarchy tells women to hold on and stick through abuse for the sake of the kids and often we think taking abuse and trying to hide it is helping kids.
It's not!
Sometimes the best thing a parent can do is go ham, find their voice, set boundaries, take the children, leave and go live their best life and make sure that their kids see them being happy and living.
Choosing to heal and regulate your nervous systems can help your kids regulate their nervous systems and set boundaries, which completely change their money story.
Our money traumas are not about the money, it's about almost everything else but the money.
Trauma is also why traditional ways of teaching personal finance (like budget etc.) don't lead to behavioral change, because it's not about the money.
Choosing ourselves and our happiness and setting boundaries as women is healthy, it’s how we break the trauma cycle in our families.
This is part of the work that I teach in the #MoneyMagic course. A part of the work I do is helping people regulate their nervous systems and release various vows they have made in this life and other lifetimes. If this is resonating with you and you feel ready to start healing yourself and healing money trauma, then sign up for the #MoneyMagic course/ get on the waiting list at this link: wealthy-money.com/moneymagic
