I know what it’s like to be in the grips of despair because of money or the lack of money. To feel like you’re a failure and the Gods hate you.
There’s nothing worse than looking at your life and losing hope because your dreams may never come to fruition.
This is what despair feels like – the total loss of hope because Heaven has abandoned you.
Despair is very closely related to depression; which according to Chinese medicine despair and depression affect the lungs because this is where we take in air, the very thing we need to live.
When we’re depressed we lose this will to live and reject oxygen.
How Despair affects financial behavior
1. Inability to make money
Despair takes away the motivation to live and renders a person helpless, keeping them tied to their bed, making it physically impossible for them to make money.
2. Undercharging for services
Despair eats away at self-esteem, which makes it difficult for you to see your own self-worth and to price your services appropriately.
3. Increased debt
Usually debt leads to depression and despair but it’s also possible for despair to lead to increased debt as people accumulate material possessions, or engage in alcohol and drugs to make themselves feel better.
According to medical doctors, depression can lead to addictive behaviors like gambling.
How to Deal with Despair
Despair arises from the underlying belief that a situation is going in the opposite direction to the one you want, which gives rise to hopelessness.
1. Release the belief that life is not going in the right direction by questioning it
As you question your belief you will find that you can’t know for sure that the situation is going in the wrong direction because, you can’t tell the future with certainty. The situation you are going through right now will probably make sense in the future.
2. Let go of the attachment to outcome
Stop fighting and accept your despair and the situation as it is in this moment. If evolutionary psychologists are correct then despair has a meaning in our lives: to help us find solutions to problems. So if you feel like isolating, isolate.
Release the need to control how things unfold and resolve to do your best in this moment and to only control your actions.
3. Keep a daily journal
Studies have shown that people that write expressively and consistently get over depression faster because they get insight into their problems (Andrew & Thomson Jr, 2009).
I also highly recommend reading Byron Katie’s book “Loving what is” where she talks about her experience with depression and how questioning her thoughts helped her overcome it.