This morning in my meditation with the spirit of money and abundance I had an amazing realization – I’m addicted to worry and anxiety.
This addiction often leads me to self-sabotage and to hold onto grudges from years ago.
There’s a part of me that needs this to keep myself playing small and to keep punishing others so I can say look: all the crap you put me through really has messed me up.
But there’s an even greater part of me that’s scared of stepping into my own power so it finds new ways to keep me playing small. This has been my struggle for the last week.
Because let’s face it – a life of abundance can sometimes be scary – how can you hold onto grudges and feel powerless when you know you have the power to design your life?
Creating The Life We Want Means Facing Ourselves
A few days ago I went into blame mode because of what I deemed to be a series of bad financial decisions I’d recently made.
To me it felt self-sabotage and I kept thinking if only I’d done this or that…
After a few days of just sitting with the blame in meditation, connecting with the spirit of money and sometimes the spirit of abundance I felt something shift and self-compassion set in.
I accept that this amazing life of abundance and awesomeness that I’m creating is sometimes scary.
I started to feel compassion of that a part of me still hasn’t learned to live without blame, worry and anxiety.
I started to acknowledge just how far I’ve come – a few years ago this blame would have led to depression and eventually a few weeks in bed and total abandonment of work altogether.
To create the life we want we have to be willing to face the parts of ourselves we don’t always like.
There’s no such thing as fearless
I can never say that I will never be depressed again or that I’ll never self-sabotage again, because life offers no guarantees.
But I can say I’ve learned to stop reacting to my anxiety and fears about money, being broke or homeless.
Fear and the need to sabotage crop up whenever I make a major change to my life – choosing to travel, renting out my apartment, making major business changes etc.
The only difference is I no longer run from them, instead I acknowledge them, sit with them, converse with my inner being, my guides and even the spirit of money and soon the power they have over me disappears.
The secret to realizing your dreams
Understand that there’s such a thing as fearless or living a life without fear.
Everyone is scared of something. It’s called being human.
Creating a life of abundance and living our dreams is scary because it means totally owning our power and releasing the junk that keeps us playing small.
The difference between the people that manifest their dreams and those that don’t is that those that do are willing to face the discomfort along the way.
They know that everything eventually changes and believe in their ability to tap into the spirit of abundance and create this change.
Nelson Mandela defined courage as taking action in spite of the fear we feel.
Fear is part of life and is neither good nor bad, it’s there to protect us (and our ego).
Connect with your spirit of abundance!
I'll be hosting a FREE teleclass on tapping into the spirit of abundance and having a live coaching session with 2 guests on the Teleclass.