I struggle with what I call survivor's guilt.
The guilt that I can afford so much when others around the world have so little.
When things are going well in my life, I downplay the awesomeness of it all and pretend it’s humility.
I sometimes lie about how my business is doing so I can make others around me feel less uncomfortable or maybe it's to make myself feel more accepted.
The guilt that I keep manifesting awesomeness without going through hell because I still have this deep belief that life should be hard.
The guilt that I'm living the life that my parents and ancestors could only dream of, and yet it's because of their ability to dream that I now have the life I have.
And I know that my parents and my whole family love that I have all these choices because all they ever do is support me. Nothing I ask of them is too great.
I also know that I can never feel guilty enough to make others abundant.
How guilt affects behavior
A study by Beuamont (2006) found that guilt will cause us to behave in one of 3 ways:
- Take responsibility for the perceived wrong and show remorse by paying restitution, apologizing and making reparations
- Deny that we’ve done anything wrong
- Feel shame for our behavior and also criticize ourselves
Feeling guilty about your success leads to self sabotage
1. Give away money to people (not out of generosity)
To the subconscious mind giving away money to strangers, friends and family will assuage your guilt. Guilt forces you to pay restitution for your wrongs, so if you feel guilty about your good fortune, the one way to rectify it is by giving away money to others
2. Spend money as fast as you can
This is a good way to get rid of money and hide your “wrong”. Also spending money as fast as you can ensures that you remain in the same situation as everyone else and avoid criticism or judgement by them
3. Self-sabotage by undercharging for services
The easiest way to not feel any guilt about money is to never make money by undercharging for your services or taking on jobs that you’re overqualified for
How to stop feeling guilty for your success
1. Stop apologizing for your success
If you find yourself apologizing for your success, pretending to be like everyone else, you’re probably feeling guilty about having money. Notice when you’re giving away money, not from a place of gratitude but from a place of guilt and pause and sit with the emotion.
2. Give yourself permission to be successful
Use affirmations to let your subconscious mind know that it is safe and morally right for you to be success. One affirmation I use is:
“I am worthy of all the good in this world and allow myself to be super successful”
3. Sit with the guilt
When we question the mind, we see the truth and as the old saying goes: the truth shall set you free.
Sit with your guilt and observe it.
Ask yourself: where does this guilt come from and wait for the answer.
The root cause of every emotion is a thought and once you release the thought, the emotion it causes will also be released.
Do you struggle with survivor's guilt?
How has this impacted your finances?
Please your insights and stories in the comments section below.