The last few weeks, have been incredible for me, in that I’ve been totally outside my comfort zone.
I’ve had to step into a place of asking for what I want with everyone I do business with.
And in the process, I’ve had to deal with my martyr, my predominant money shadow, on a major scale.
What’s a Money Martyr?
A martyr is an archetype, which is neither good nor bad. Our personalities are composed of multiple archetypes (we just tend to have a predominant one). They’re part of our collective consciousness as a species.
A mother is an archetype; a father is an archetype, because we all have an idea of how these 2 people should behave.
In its positive state the martyr is willing to sacrifice themselves for the greater good or enlightenment of the society at large. This archetype just wants to do the right thing.
This tends to be the most spiritual of the archetypes and its positive state gives without expectations.
Think Nelson Mandela and Jesus.
An archetype becomes a shadow when we act out its negative characteristics; it’s called a shadow because we’re unaware of how it drives our behaviour.
The shadow of this archetype sacrifices themselves for others but instead of doing it for the greater good, this does it to manipulate and control others, especially with money.
A classic example of this is mothers who sacrifice their happiness and dreams for their children and then turn around and remind the children all they’ve given up for them.
How to recognize if you’re a shadow money martyr
1. Shadow money martyrs believe that it’s better to give then receive
One of the thing’s I’ve noticed when dealing with the martyr shadow (myself included) is how we actively block money from flowing into our lives, receiving is awkward for us. Getting paid way more than we expected is way harder than getting paid less. Asking is true torture for this archetype.
2. They’re all about sacrificing and rescuing others
They give up a lot financially and career wise to help others and will often work for very little or without pay for the greater good.
Their self-worth is deeply tied to how much they sacrifice. The more they sacrifice the more worthy and lovable they feel.
There’s an underlying belief that they have to work for happiness; having fun with money is very difficult for this shadow.
3. They harbour resentment
They’re the ones that everyone in the family runs to and they resent it, complain about it but won’t stop sacrificing themselves for others.
They can use this evidence to prove how evil money is, and guilt trip others who have money.
Or they can use this to manipulate others to look after them as they continue to prove how virtuous they are because they don’t have money.
4. They feel unappreciated
The resentment martyrs feel stems from the fact that they feel unappreciated for all they sacrifice. They need to feel needed because their self-worth is so deeply tied to this.
The weird thing is that the martyr feels really awkward with compliments and recognition and will actually shut down if they get too many compliments. It’s not about humility but a deeper lack of self-esteem.
Join me for the FREE Heal Your Money Shadow Teleclass
In this class I’ll be doing an exercise on healing your money shadow and turning your money shadow into your number 1 fan.
Heal Your Money Shadow is a FREE tele-class where I’ll cover the following topics:
1. What are money archetypes?
2. What’s the link between money archetypes and money shadows?
3. How do our money shadows show up in our lives?
4. Exploring 6 money shadows that are often overlooked:
- The money martyr
- The beggar
- The good samaritan
- The victim
- The prostitute
- The critic
5. Exercise on connecting and healing out money shadow